oh, heart...

Sometimes I forget I'm a girl. Just kidding! that was my awesome attention getter.

But on days like today I wish my heart could be a little less sensitive. I don't know what my problem is, but today I really miss you. Some days are easier than others, but the 25th of June was abnormally rough. Gosh, I wish I didn't care about you.

Introduction to Insecurity Issues

I don't know exactly when I "checked out" emotionally, but something has definately been not right for awhile (because I'm a girl, i'm going to blame hormones.. lol. jk)... but I feel like I'M BACK!
That was by far the longest 'slumb' I think i've ever slipped into.
I don't know about you, but when I am going through a rough time finding my place in this VAST land we call Earth it's very easy to get discouraged!

I've been reading a phenominal book called "So long insecurity, you've been a bad friend" by Beth Moore and I am so very excited to share with you what I have been learning!!

It's amazing how much I have never understood about myself -- that I'm beginning to understand through this process of facing my insecurities, handing them over to God, and LEAVING them with Him.

Even something as 'insignificant' as JEALOUSY has a whole new tint in light of my recent discoveries.

I'm hoping to write about this tomorrow when I have some free time, seeing as it WEDNESDAY!!! WOOT WOOT!

But for now, I love you dear friends and I leave you with this thought:
What are we afraid of?
Who are we afraid of?
What are we afriad of losing?
Why are we afraid of being displaced?

Thoughts from my heart coming SOON! Stay tuned!

I want what God has for me. Nothing more, nothing less.


Lord, help this to be true....

too picky?

Recently someone told me I was 'too picky' in what I wanted in a future husband. I laughed.
I think it's less of being 'picky' and more about what type of marriage I desire.
Of course he must be a single male. *This me and my friend could agree on. =)
Nonsmoker, nondrinker, not a druggy *I want a substance-abuse free home to raise kids in.
CHRISTIAN. *The bible commands us to not be unequally yoked. -someone to do ministry with.
Semi-healthy *Admittedly I'm not a postergirl for health, but I try. That's all i'm looking for... some concern about health.

as well as I find them attractive, they find me attractive.

SEE.... totally NOT too picky =)

close to my heart always

I wrote the best role play on grief counseling my professor has ever seen last semester (his words, not mine), but when it comes to having the words to say, even to myself, when it really matters they all feel so empty. Sometimes the only thing we can do is simply BE. To sit in silence with nothing but our heart pounding, eyes flooded with tears and simply BE- because it takes every fiber of our being to take the next breath. I can't seem to get it together from one extreme to the next. I go from bottled up 'I'm perfectly fine' to a pile of soaking wet from tears.. off an on all day. I miss you corey... you are always and forever close to my heart. Today was the hardest any day can possibly get. It was so painful to see you lifeless. You looked so peaceful.... but I know you are not sleeping. I know your soul has passed from this earth, leaving behind your flesh... And my heart weeps. I can't believe you're gone. Like the preacher said today... This wasn't God's plan. It wasn't suppose to end like this.

Always and forever close to my heart. <3

Where is the Love?

The line "if you never know truth than you never know love" is so true. In my twenty two years alive there is only one things I know for certain to be truth (absolute truth), and that's Jesus Christ.

Where's the love?

Simple- We're harbering it...

The question is... are we sharing it? Or do we hide under the cover of the world and hope that without words our actions will be enough for people to want a change in thier life and decide to follow Christ.

News Flash: Jesus used words and actions in ministry

The apostle Paul- words and actions

When did we start buying into the lie that we can preach the gospel without using any words.... If you think about it, it's actually quiet rediculous.

WAKE UP

When are people in this horrible town ever going to get it?! WAKE UP PEOPLE! This is real life, and we only get to live it ONCE! I'm so tired of hearing about young people dying. I'm so tired of hearing stories about overdoses. I'm tired of seeing people broken... and my heart aches tonight with the reality he's never coming back. ever. I wish someone would call and be like "just kidding" and we can all breathe a sigh of relief, but that's not reality. reality is a cold hard, gut wrenching truth that you're never going to walk through the door ever again. I'm never going to see your smile again. You were trying. I know you were tying. You told us so. I wish there was a way to fix this, but there's not. I don't understand why God lets some people die while others he saves. Am I mad? I'm trying not to be. You were loved, VERY loved. I miss you, and our family will never be the same without you. You left a whole inside our hearts yesterday, a whole that can never be filled. A painful reminder that you were hurting, broken and felt alone. You were not alone. You were never alone, because we loved you always. always and forever my dear cousin.

phrases

Sometimes the simple things are the hardest to say.

I love you
I miss you
Dump him/her
I'm mad at you
You inspire me
You're beautiful
I'm not disappointed, I'm just sad

Some phrases in life are easier than others.